Go Quietly . . .

Recently I was asked if I could go back in time to just one point and do it all over again, would I and what point would it be? This is a tricky question but I love things that really make my wheels turn.

Most people would assume I would go back and take away the decision to marry. If I chose to say no to Clifton, then I would not have my two beautiful children. Even though our marriage did not make it, I genuinely think he is a good person. While my second marriage has left me scarred more than I could ever imagine, I would not go back and say no to that either. The same actions that resulted in the scars have also allowed me to grow in a way I would never have been able to do on my own.

There are times I can remember such as car accidents, too much to drink, that awful dress I wore to the Snow Ball in high school or wasting a week on preparing a report that never was sent out because it deemed “Not Needed After all”. But these seem trivial and not worthy of my only time travel experience.

There is only one time I can really think of that would justify revisiting. There was a certain man in my past who should have been one of those people that you admire and look up to. He was a man of “authority” but he was also a man of many demons it would seem. While I made a stand for myself against him, ultimately I was asked by “the powers that be” to keep it quiet and he would be taken care of swiftly as to not cause any embarrassment to myself or the school. I stayed quiet and he moved on to another school, where he ultimately ended up doing the same thing to other girls. In the end, he ended up at two difference schools and at some point served some time in the pokey where I can only hope he received his just deserts.

Now, I am not saying I would go back in time to take away what he did to me. I am saying I would go back in time but not allow him to go quietly. Why? Because apparently that is how we got him – the girl (s) before me stayed quiet. Had I chosen to speak up maybe I would have been the last one.

So, if you ever wonder why I am not the “quiet” type . . . well, I have tried that and I find that speaking up is better for everyone. Sometimes the truth may not be easy to say or hear but it is better to be truthful than allow the lie to continue . . .