After much thought and deliberation, I have made a life changing decision. When I decide to date again, it will to be with a man that has the same qualities of my dog, Charlie . . . with a few exceptions.
First off, dogs in general, tend to have a keen sense in the judgment of character. So note to self . . .must introduce Charlie to prospects early on the get his paw of approval. Secondly, I am and have always been a HUGE animal person. I have had a pet of almost every type of animal there is and if the mysterious Mr. X does not love animals as much as I do, then we need not go any further. Finally, studies show those who own a pet live longer, happier lives . . . so let’s get going.
I will list my reasons Mr. X must be like Charlie . . . but they are NOT listed in order of importance.
1. Charlie is cute as a bug . . .
2. No matter if I have been out of the room for 5 minutes or have left Charlie to go to work all day, he is always and I mean always happy to see me return.
3. When I do return back to Charlie’s presence he gives me sweet kisses and acknowledges me with more than a glance or grunt.
4. Charlie likes to go with me everywhere I go – regardless if I am just running to grocery store or going on a 7 hour drive to OK, he is always game!
5. When I am sick, Charlie is genuinely concerned for my well being – not because he is scared he won’t get dinner, but because he knows I don’t feel well and that makes him sad.
6. Charlie likes to watch the same TV programs I like to watch. These basically consist of cooking shows, HGTV and Animal Cops – however I do see signs of concern occasionally during Animal Cops when there is lots of barking and meowing. I take this as a sign of mutual concern rather than irritation.
7. When I cry, Charlie just sits there and comforts me . .. he does not try to fix anything . . . because he really understands that sometimes I just need to cry.
8. Charlie approves of my wardrobe . . . he especially likes my monkey house shoes but I do have to admit his attempting to snatch them off my feet as we climb the stairs can be a bit hazardous.
9. Charlie does not get jealous when I go out for a girl’s night . . . I allow him his time with his friends and he allows me time with mine because he knows I love him very much and would never run off with another dog.
10. Charlie likes my cooking . . .well, every now and then when I try something new and extravagant and I decide it is not so hot, he has turned tail and run . . but I cannot blame him. I put that down to good taste rather than bad manners.
11. Charlie likes the children – he plays with them, doesn’t mind “kid sitting” on occasion and helps to clean up any food messes they make.
12. Charlie does not like to snuggle all the time . . . I am a very “warm” sleeper and I do not like to snuggle either because I get too warm and I cannot sleep – Charlie allows the perfect amount of room in the bed so he can reach over and give me a kiss without curling up right next to me and causing me to have hot flashes.
With that said, there are a few things that I would hope Mr. X does not have in common with Charlie . . .
1. If bored, Charlie will shred a roll(s) of toilet paper so that is looks like piles of snow throughout the house. This is a big NO, NO.
2. Charlie will, when the mood strikes him, hump things – people, other animals or inanimate objects – this is a HUGE no, no! Crotch sniffing is also out!
3. Charlie does not like for me to shut the bathroom door . . . uh, we don’t need any visuals so I will just say – deal with the bathroom door being shut on occasion.
4. Charlie licks himself. . . won’t go there either . . .
So, that is how I have come to the decision Mr. X should have most of the same characteristics of Charlie . . . Most of all, I am pretty sure if I locked Mr. X and Charlie in the closet or the trunk of my car . . . Charlie would still be happy to see me after I let them out . . .
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
That Would Have Been Nice to Know . . .
So I wake up at 2:13 am on Saturday morning . . . but what woke me up? As I lay there trying to go back to sleep I hear it . . the sound that woke me. “BEEP”!!!! Or course, one of the smoke detectors obviously has a battery that is going dead. Really? At 2:13? It cannot go out at 2:00 in the afternoon . . . I am somewhat vertically challenged so I head down stairs to the garage and get the ladder, find a new battery (that I keep for just such occasions) and head back upstairs. I change the stupid “bleeping” battery and put up the ladder and get back in bed. Then I start to think . . . what other things always seem to present themselves at times that are not great . . . or that would have been better to know beforehand.
1. That “R” rating on the movie was for more than the occasional dropping of the “F Bomb”
2. Oops, there is no toilet paper within reach when you really need it.
3. Your son or someone else has left the toilet seat up and you have already been seated
4. The person cutting your hair has NEVER even touched naturally curly hair before.
5. The couple you have invited over for dinner are vegans - as you set a plate of steak on the table
6. Your significant other has a fetish for strippers
7. That cute bunny tattoo on your bikini line will look like a Great Dane during pregnancy and a blob after you give birth
8. Your high school basketball coach is/was a pedophile
9. The milk has gone bad
10. The county you have moved to is DRY . . . Yes, I said Dry. Won’t make that mistake again.
If you can think of other things, I would love to hear of them.
1. That “R” rating on the movie was for more than the occasional dropping of the “F Bomb”
2. Oops, there is no toilet paper within reach when you really need it.
3. Your son or someone else has left the toilet seat up and you have already been seated
4. The person cutting your hair has NEVER even touched naturally curly hair before.
5. The couple you have invited over for dinner are vegans - as you set a plate of steak on the table
6. Your significant other has a fetish for strippers
7. That cute bunny tattoo on your bikini line will look like a Great Dane during pregnancy and a blob after you give birth
8. Your high school basketball coach is/was a pedophile
9. The milk has gone bad
10. The county you have moved to is DRY . . . Yes, I said Dry. Won’t make that mistake again.
If you can think of other things, I would love to hear of them.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Jiffy Lube and the Muffin Men
So . . . My car did not pass inspection which meant I had to embark on the entire process of getting the darn thing fixed. The type of work it needed done was not something my daddy could do – he is not a muffler man – he is an engine man! So, I set out to calling different places to see what the new catalytic converter would cost. I was in shock. Prices ranged from $400 to $500 . . .until I called this one place.
Now, I promised the kid on the phone I would not tell anyone he gave me the number because he did not want to get in trouble for referring people to his buddy’s place of business. So I won’t say the name of the Company but I will say it rhymes with Tidas. He refers me to a place called Muffin Muffler – yes, I said Muffin and after I got over my giggling fit he gave me the number and I called. So I go and get the repairs done for $250 and I take my car to some other place after driving it for 100 miles. Apparently the car has the “reboot” system of Windows and it takes FOREVER for it to reset or fix itself. So, I take the car, have it checked and YES – Victory at last. But of course the people who tell me it will now pass inspection do not actually DO the inspection. So I head off to Jiffy Lube.
The ever friendly workers at JL greeted me at my car and helped me inside. It had been raining and the water from outside and the oil on the floor inside do not mix . . .literally and I almost fell on my butt. Anyway, two guys tackled my car – at first I thought this was because I was such a valued customer and then I realized I was the only person in the shop.
Then the kid who initially greeted me comes walking in. Tall and kinda lanky and very talkative. He tells me he is from Lufkin and has recently moved here to attend AA counseling and he has hopes of moving to a “sober house” soon. After which he hopes to start some college courses. He asked questions about me and I answered and he was really a nice kid – 24 years of age, liked to talk and apparently just a drinker because he refused to ever do any drugs. Oh, and he used to be a roughneck and has a cousin who lives in OK and his parents are really proud of him for going into rehab.
Then another car pulled up and out he went to greet and work. Within five minutes my car was finished, I paid and got in my car. There was lots of paperwork sitting on my dash so I started putting it up when I heard a knock on my window. It was the tall lanky kid – he said “I just wanted to tell you to have a nice day . . “ and I was thinking he is so sweet . . . then he handed me a piece of paper and said “you should call me sometime”. OMG! I smiled and said thanks and drove like Jeff Gordon to get out of there.
Here are my objections to this entire situation – he is 13 years my junior and to be honest. . . if he is a recovering alcoholic I am probably the last person on the face of the earth he should even consider hanging out with. Finally – I am pretty sure he only weighed about 110 pounds . .. soaking wet and there is no way in HELL I would “call someone” skinner and lighter than me . . . that is just wrong - I am not a very big person and if you are smaller than me you are either a midget or just plain scrawny.
Now, I promised the kid on the phone I would not tell anyone he gave me the number because he did not want to get in trouble for referring people to his buddy’s place of business. So I won’t say the name of the Company but I will say it rhymes with Tidas. He refers me to a place called Muffin Muffler – yes, I said Muffin and after I got over my giggling fit he gave me the number and I called. So I go and get the repairs done for $250 and I take my car to some other place after driving it for 100 miles. Apparently the car has the “reboot” system of Windows and it takes FOREVER for it to reset or fix itself. So, I take the car, have it checked and YES – Victory at last. But of course the people who tell me it will now pass inspection do not actually DO the inspection. So I head off to Jiffy Lube.
The ever friendly workers at JL greeted me at my car and helped me inside. It had been raining and the water from outside and the oil on the floor inside do not mix . . .literally and I almost fell on my butt. Anyway, two guys tackled my car – at first I thought this was because I was such a valued customer and then I realized I was the only person in the shop.
Then the kid who initially greeted me comes walking in. Tall and kinda lanky and very talkative. He tells me he is from Lufkin and has recently moved here to attend AA counseling and he has hopes of moving to a “sober house” soon. After which he hopes to start some college courses. He asked questions about me and I answered and he was really a nice kid – 24 years of age, liked to talk and apparently just a drinker because he refused to ever do any drugs. Oh, and he used to be a roughneck and has a cousin who lives in OK and his parents are really proud of him for going into rehab.
Then another car pulled up and out he went to greet and work. Within five minutes my car was finished, I paid and got in my car. There was lots of paperwork sitting on my dash so I started putting it up when I heard a knock on my window. It was the tall lanky kid – he said “I just wanted to tell you to have a nice day . . “ and I was thinking he is so sweet . . . then he handed me a piece of paper and said “you should call me sometime”. OMG! I smiled and said thanks and drove like Jeff Gordon to get out of there.
Here are my objections to this entire situation – he is 13 years my junior and to be honest. . . if he is a recovering alcoholic I am probably the last person on the face of the earth he should even consider hanging out with. Finally – I am pretty sure he only weighed about 110 pounds . .. soaking wet and there is no way in HELL I would “call someone” skinner and lighter than me . . . that is just wrong - I am not a very big person and if you are smaller than me you are either a midget or just plain scrawny.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Promises VS Reality
So usually my blogs are full of funny stories about my kids and my dog. But I do have a serious side. Many of you know that I recently divorced and I have been through some tough times over the past year. It has been a journey of a lot of self reflection and I have learned much about myself.
I did what I think many people do. I fell in love with someone who promised me the moon but was never able to deliver even the basics of a good and healthy relationship. Sometime I think we get so caught up in the promise we forget to look at the reality. Promises are easy to make . . . but life is what we do every single day. Promises are nice for things we want … a beach house, a new car or that ultimate vacation. Promises should never revolve around our everyday life . . . the ability to communicate, to be better with the kids/family or even to simply spend time with one another.
I read something today that really hit me hard because I realized it was exactly what I had done. Here is the quote: If one settles for a less than pleasing relationships out of the fear of being single and the longing to be a couple, once the relationships falter, the result will be a life full of heartaches. If choosing to remain in the relationship, it will certainly lead to living a life that is not the one truthfully desired..
I wanted so badly to believe in the promises that I kept overlooking the glaring truth. Of course in the end there was the preverbal “straw that broke that camel’s back” but looking back . . . I realized I simply settled. I settled for being someone’s option rather than their priority.
I am writing in part to get this out of my system and part in hopes of that it may help someone else not to make the same mistake I made. So here is my list of things I will insist on when I finally decide to start dating again . . . however I don’t think that will be for while.
1. You must be able to communicate and share your thoughts, feelings and needs. I am not a mind reader and a true relationship must have the ability to communicate. There should never be a topic that is deemed “off limits”.
2. You must show affection. There should be touches, hand holding, kisses and caresses just because . . .
3. You must be dependable. Yes, this means you should be able to hold down a job and help to provide for a family. . . . but dependability goes much further. You should be willing to help out with everyday chores and events. You should be willing to spend time with your family . . . school events, outings with the children, family events and things other than the yearly vacation.
4. Trust – I should not worry about leaving the kids with you. You should put my feelings before others. I should be able to talk to you without fear that you will be mad . . . I should never have to walk on egg shells. I should not worry about what you might bring home from a work trip or night out with the boys – be it an article of clothing that does not belong to you or some communicable disease.
5. You must love me for who I am. Please do not try to change me. I am from Oklahoma and I do speak with a tad bit of an accent . . . I do have sayings that are not always common to others. I like to work in the yard and my nails may not always be manicured perfectly and I have curly, often frizzy hair. My past and all that I have experienced makes me who I am today. I am not perfect, I will disappoint you at sometime for some reason, but that is not personal, that only means I am human.
6. You must realize that I LOVE animals and I will always cry when I see the HSUS or SPCA commercials on TV. I will always choose to adopt a pet rather than buy one with a pedigree. And I honestly think dogs are often a better judge of character than most people.
7. You must be willing to go out and do things I like to do. I will go with you to do things you like and all I ask is that on occasion we go to see a Broadway play or to listen to live music or dancing.
8. Understand that I like to have alone time . . . this does not mean I do not like/love you. This just means that I need time to decompress.
9. I am goofy . . . I like to have fun. This does not mean I am not serious about life or work. But it does mean that on occasion, I turn the music up loud and dance around the house with my kids, I may pass gas just get a laugh from my family and practical jokes are things to be admired.
10. Finally, remember, I am a female. I have the ability to mow the lawn, fix almost anything wrong with my car and I love most sports and can probably beat you in basketball and golf. However, I am a girl; I may cry and get upset over things that seem silly to you. And just because I have the ability to do all of the above . . . does not mean I don’t need or want your help with them . . .
Okay, so that is my list and I know I will probably be adding to it . . . in the end . . . I want all my friends to know . . . NEVER settle for less than what you want . . . NEVER settle for less than what you need . . . We all deserve to be happy . . . and remember promises are nice but life is real . . . so live your life to the fullest.
I did what I think many people do. I fell in love with someone who promised me the moon but was never able to deliver even the basics of a good and healthy relationship. Sometime I think we get so caught up in the promise we forget to look at the reality. Promises are easy to make . . . but life is what we do every single day. Promises are nice for things we want … a beach house, a new car or that ultimate vacation. Promises should never revolve around our everyday life . . . the ability to communicate, to be better with the kids/family or even to simply spend time with one another.
I read something today that really hit me hard because I realized it was exactly what I had done. Here is the quote: If one settles for a less than pleasing relationships out of the fear of being single and the longing to be a couple, once the relationships falter, the result will be a life full of heartaches. If choosing to remain in the relationship, it will certainly lead to living a life that is not the one truthfully desired..
I wanted so badly to believe in the promises that I kept overlooking the glaring truth. Of course in the end there was the preverbal “straw that broke that camel’s back” but looking back . . . I realized I simply settled. I settled for being someone’s option rather than their priority.
I am writing in part to get this out of my system and part in hopes of that it may help someone else not to make the same mistake I made. So here is my list of things I will insist on when I finally decide to start dating again . . . however I don’t think that will be for while.
1. You must be able to communicate and share your thoughts, feelings and needs. I am not a mind reader and a true relationship must have the ability to communicate. There should never be a topic that is deemed “off limits”.
2. You must show affection. There should be touches, hand holding, kisses and caresses just because . . .
3. You must be dependable. Yes, this means you should be able to hold down a job and help to provide for a family. . . . but dependability goes much further. You should be willing to help out with everyday chores and events. You should be willing to spend time with your family . . . school events, outings with the children, family events and things other than the yearly vacation.
4. Trust – I should not worry about leaving the kids with you. You should put my feelings before others. I should be able to talk to you without fear that you will be mad . . . I should never have to walk on egg shells. I should not worry about what you might bring home from a work trip or night out with the boys – be it an article of clothing that does not belong to you or some communicable disease.
5. You must love me for who I am. Please do not try to change me. I am from Oklahoma and I do speak with a tad bit of an accent . . . I do have sayings that are not always common to others. I like to work in the yard and my nails may not always be manicured perfectly and I have curly, often frizzy hair. My past and all that I have experienced makes me who I am today. I am not perfect, I will disappoint you at sometime for some reason, but that is not personal, that only means I am human.
6. You must realize that I LOVE animals and I will always cry when I see the HSUS or SPCA commercials on TV. I will always choose to adopt a pet rather than buy one with a pedigree. And I honestly think dogs are often a better judge of character than most people.
7. You must be willing to go out and do things I like to do. I will go with you to do things you like and all I ask is that on occasion we go to see a Broadway play or to listen to live music or dancing.
8. Understand that I like to have alone time . . . this does not mean I do not like/love you. This just means that I need time to decompress.
9. I am goofy . . . I like to have fun. This does not mean I am not serious about life or work. But it does mean that on occasion, I turn the music up loud and dance around the house with my kids, I may pass gas just get a laugh from my family and practical jokes are things to be admired.
10. Finally, remember, I am a female. I have the ability to mow the lawn, fix almost anything wrong with my car and I love most sports and can probably beat you in basketball and golf. However, I am a girl; I may cry and get upset over things that seem silly to you. And just because I have the ability to do all of the above . . . does not mean I don’t need or want your help with them . . .
Okay, so that is my list and I know I will probably be adding to it . . . in the end . . . I want all my friends to know . . . NEVER settle for less than what you want . . . NEVER settle for less than what you need . . . We all deserve to be happy . . . and remember promises are nice but life is real . . . so live your life to the fullest.
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