Last night, I was doing a final pass through the kitchen and general clean up after the kids went to bed. I am a “tidy” person and I don’t like for my kitchen to be a mess. Nothing worse than getting up in the morning to get a cup of coffee and not being able to set your coffee mug down the counter is completely cluttered! There was a bowl left on the counter and it needed rinsing so I reach over and turn on the water. However, instead of the water coming out of the faucet like it should, it shoots across the sink onto me and all over the counter – completely drenching EVERYTHING. Why you may ask . . . well let me tell you.
A few weeks back the kids and I were watching America’s Funniest Videos . . .this happens to be one of our favorite shows. First off, we love animals and little kids and they always have cute/funny videos containing these lovable little creatures. I personally find great amusement in seeing men get hit in the crotch by anything – I usually replace the face of said man with “he who shall not be named” and imagine said crotch shot has caused major and permanent damage. Anyway, one of the videos we saw a while back showed a practical joke a wife played on her husband. She took a rubber band and placed it on the sprayer in the sink so that when her husband turned on the water he got doused. Children can find inspiration in the oddest places.
Now, I did get a little upset since I had a lot more to clean up and I had to change my clothes. I did yell MADISON at the top of my lungs – when she came out and saw her accomplishment she was very pleased with herself and even smiled as she promised me to NEVER do it again. After I changed, I went to her room and knocked – one of the three rules posted on Madison’s door is Knock and Wait for an answer before entering. So I knocked and waited – I stuck my head in and asked nicely for her to never do that again . . .and she promised once again, she would not.
While my initial reaction was irritation . . .secretly I was admiring her spunk to actually pull this stunt. Now, I must watch more closely when we watch this show for any upcoming pranks that could be played on me.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
And the winner of the Fried Food Contest is . . . .
I had my first Austin visitors this past weekend. Amanda and Katie came to Dallas to see me and the kiddos and spent the weekend. Our plans were to go to the fair, but when we awoke on Saturday morning to light drizzle in the Frisco area and lots of rain in downtown Dallas, our plans were changed somewhat. We ended up going to a bar to watch the first part of the UT vs UCLA game. What a train wreck that turned out to be! Anyway, we ended up going to the fair later on Saturday afternoon and the weather was perfect!
Now, I have not been to the fair in almost 10 years. The last time I went, my children were ages 1.5 and 3.5 years of age and I had to put them on those “leashes” so I could keep track of them. Some people do not agree with this “inhuman” treatment of children being put on leashes, but I beg to differ. I latched the leash part around a belt loop so there was no strangulation but I still got people commenting on the fact I had them on at all. I have to believe the people who are so opposed to such devices have never had a child just loose all sense of reason and bolt on them in a store or other crowded area. A child under the age of 5 has impulse issues . . . much a like dog chasing a cat. But now that the kids are older and for the most part have their impulse issues under control, no leases were needed.
We ate some great food! Of course, we tried the fried beer, which, in all honesty, was a bit disappointing. We also sampled: Belgian waffles with strawberries and whipped cream, fried Oreos, fried cookie dough, fried guacamole, corny dogs and cotton candy. In my opinion, the fried guacamole was absolutely INCREDIBLE.
The cost to ride the “portable devices of doom” was absolutely ridiculous! It cost a minimum of 10 tickets PER Ride – and at $.50 per ticket that is $5 – so my kiddos got to ride 3 rides each. I do plan on taking them back on Friday night to take advantage of ½ price ride night! Woohoo – maybe 6 rides each this time!
Finally, I forgot how much I totally enjoy people watching! Here in Dallas you see a lot of the same – fancy cars, fake boobs and lots of make-up. Not at the fair! OMG the freaks come out to play is an understatement. We saw people dressed identical even though they were not twins. We saw people that I am guessing were a size 10-12 poured into and overflowing out of size 4 clothes – once again, can I reiterate my “PLEASE DON’T LEAVE YOUR HOUSE WITHOUT A BRA”!!!!! And how in the world do these women walk around the state fair in shoes that had to be at minimum 4 inch stiletto heels?
All in all, we had a wonderful time. I am so excited for my girls to come back and see me in December for the Frisco Christmas Lights!!!
Now, I have not been to the fair in almost 10 years. The last time I went, my children were ages 1.5 and 3.5 years of age and I had to put them on those “leashes” so I could keep track of them. Some people do not agree with this “inhuman” treatment of children being put on leashes, but I beg to differ. I latched the leash part around a belt loop so there was no strangulation but I still got people commenting on the fact I had them on at all. I have to believe the people who are so opposed to such devices have never had a child just loose all sense of reason and bolt on them in a store or other crowded area. A child under the age of 5 has impulse issues . . . much a like dog chasing a cat. But now that the kids are older and for the most part have their impulse issues under control, no leases were needed.
We ate some great food! Of course, we tried the fried beer, which, in all honesty, was a bit disappointing. We also sampled: Belgian waffles with strawberries and whipped cream, fried Oreos, fried cookie dough, fried guacamole, corny dogs and cotton candy. In my opinion, the fried guacamole was absolutely INCREDIBLE.
The cost to ride the “portable devices of doom” was absolutely ridiculous! It cost a minimum of 10 tickets PER Ride – and at $.50 per ticket that is $5 – so my kiddos got to ride 3 rides each. I do plan on taking them back on Friday night to take advantage of ½ price ride night! Woohoo – maybe 6 rides each this time!
Finally, I forgot how much I totally enjoy people watching! Here in Dallas you see a lot of the same – fancy cars, fake boobs and lots of make-up. Not at the fair! OMG the freaks come out to play is an understatement. We saw people dressed identical even though they were not twins. We saw people that I am guessing were a size 10-12 poured into and overflowing out of size 4 clothes – once again, can I reiterate my “PLEASE DON’T LEAVE YOUR HOUSE WITHOUT A BRA”!!!!! And how in the world do these women walk around the state fair in shoes that had to be at minimum 4 inch stiletto heels?
All in all, we had a wonderful time. I am so excited for my girls to come back and see me in December for the Frisco Christmas Lights!!!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
I may be going to hell in a handbasket.... or via the delete button
I have come to the realization that I am likely going to be sent to hell for being judgmental. Against my better judgment, I signed up on an internet dating site. I did this first because one of my girlfriends is on one and one drunk night when I was feeling especially alone, I thought WTF? I also did this because I was morbidly curious to what these sites are all about and lastly, I wanted to see what type of men out there are looking for a girl like me.
Well, apparently 98% of the men out there are freaks. After the first few weeks of browsing my picks for the day and closing or deleting them from my list, I decided to change my criteria somewhat. Now there are a few areas that I am not willing to negotiate with. Number one, you need to speak English. Number two, you need to be as old as or older than me. Number three, you need to like children and animals. Number four, you need to like football, basketball, baseball and NASCAR and you need to really like a wide range of music. Finally, you need to be fun and like to drink – no Debbie Downers allowed.
But no matter how much I broaden my criteria, there still seems to be NO ONE in my stupid Interested List. Then I figured out the problem – ME! I am so judgmental – I was deleting people because of things like: improper use of "there, their and they’re" or other grammatical errors such as run on sentences, incorrect spelling etc. I was not an English major but come on people, basic grammar should be learned by Jr High. Also, I am deleting people if they list their favorite activities as: camping, motorcycles or boating. I realize being from Oklahoma most people typically think that I would be into camping – uh not just no, but hell no. I need complete quiet, darkness and coldness when I sleep - also, I am not scared of bugs or spiders or anything like that but I don’t want to sleep with insects either. Motorcycles scare the crap out of me since my father and brother almost died in accidents and every time I get on a boat – I have a panic attack because I think back to my accident on the lake in 1991.
I also find myself deleting people who are too short – I am short but I like my guys on the bigger side. Preferably 6 foot or taller. I know, I am being picky but I am also being honest. I also delete people who look too much like my ex-husband (self explanatory), those who are into self discovery (I already have two children) and those who use phrases like “he,he” or who write like they are preparing for a thesis. If they dress like hobos or wear dress loafers with shorts and no socks, if they have glamour shots as their profile picture or if my kids look at the profile and the first phrase out of their mouth is “he scares me”, they get deleted.
I have, therefore, come to the conclusion that I am just not ready to date . . . or at a minimum, I am not ready to online date. I will not be renewing my membership and will rely on good old fashioned meeting someone in person. I suppose this means I will, on occasion, have to leave my house to go places other than work and the grocery store.
Well, apparently 98% of the men out there are freaks. After the first few weeks of browsing my picks for the day and closing or deleting them from my list, I decided to change my criteria somewhat. Now there are a few areas that I am not willing to negotiate with. Number one, you need to speak English. Number two, you need to be as old as or older than me. Number three, you need to like children and animals. Number four, you need to like football, basketball, baseball and NASCAR and you need to really like a wide range of music. Finally, you need to be fun and like to drink – no Debbie Downers allowed.
But no matter how much I broaden my criteria, there still seems to be NO ONE in my stupid Interested List. Then I figured out the problem – ME! I am so judgmental – I was deleting people because of things like: improper use of "there, their and they’re" or other grammatical errors such as run on sentences, incorrect spelling etc. I was not an English major but come on people, basic grammar should be learned by Jr High. Also, I am deleting people if they list their favorite activities as: camping, motorcycles or boating. I realize being from Oklahoma most people typically think that I would be into camping – uh not just no, but hell no. I need complete quiet, darkness and coldness when I sleep - also, I am not scared of bugs or spiders or anything like that but I don’t want to sleep with insects either. Motorcycles scare the crap out of me since my father and brother almost died in accidents and every time I get on a boat – I have a panic attack because I think back to my accident on the lake in 1991.
I also find myself deleting people who are too short – I am short but I like my guys on the bigger side. Preferably 6 foot or taller. I know, I am being picky but I am also being honest. I also delete people who look too much like my ex-husband (self explanatory), those who are into self discovery (I already have two children) and those who use phrases like “he,he” or who write like they are preparing for a thesis. If they dress like hobos or wear dress loafers with shorts and no socks, if they have glamour shots as their profile picture or if my kids look at the profile and the first phrase out of their mouth is “he scares me”, they get deleted.
I have, therefore, come to the conclusion that I am just not ready to date . . . or at a minimum, I am not ready to online date. I will not be renewing my membership and will rely on good old fashioned meeting someone in person. I suppose this means I will, on occasion, have to leave my house to go places other than work and the grocery store.
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