I Would Like to Marry My Dog . . .or Someone Just Like Him . .

After much thought and deliberation, I have made a life changing decision. When I decide to date again, it will to be with a man that has the same qualities of my dog, Charlie . . . with a few exceptions.

First off, dogs in general, tend to have a keen sense in the judgment of character. So note to self . . .must introduce Charlie to prospects early on the get his paw of approval. Secondly, I am and have always been a HUGE animal person. I have had a pet of almost every type of animal there is and if the mysterious Mr. X does not love animals as much as I do, then we need not go any further. Finally, studies show those who own a pet live longer, happier lives . . . so let’s get going.

I will list my reasons Mr. X must be like Charlie . . . but they are NOT listed in order of importance.

1. Charlie is cute as a bug . . .

2. No matter if I have been out of the room for 5 minutes or have left Charlie to go to work all day, he is always and I mean always happy to see me return.

3. When I do return back to Charlie’s presence he gives me sweet kisses and acknowledges me with more than a glance or grunt.

4. Charlie likes to go with me everywhere I go – regardless if I am just running to grocery store or going on a 7 hour drive to OK, he is always game!

5. When I am sick, Charlie is genuinely concerned for my well being – not because he is scared he won’t get dinner, but because he knows I don’t feel well and that makes him sad.

6. Charlie likes to watch the same TV programs I like to watch. These basically consist of cooking shows, HGTV and Animal Cops – however I do see signs of concern occasionally during Animal Cops when there is lots of barking and meowing. I take this as a sign of mutual concern rather than irritation.

7. When I cry, Charlie just sits there and comforts me . .. he does not try to fix anything . . . because he really understands that sometimes I just need to cry.

8. Charlie approves of my wardrobe . . . he especially likes my monkey house shoes but I do have to admit his attempting to snatch them off my feet as we climb the stairs can be a bit hazardous.

9. Charlie does not get jealous when I go out for a girl’s night . . . I allow him his time with his friends and he allows me time with mine because he knows I love him very much and would never run off with another dog.

10. Charlie likes my cooking . . .well, every now and then when I try something new and extravagant and I decide it is not so hot, he has turned tail and run . . but I cannot blame him. I put that down to good taste rather than bad manners.

11. Charlie likes the children – he plays with them, doesn’t mind “kid sitting” on occasion and helps to clean up any food messes they make.

12. Charlie does not like to snuggle all the time . . . I am a very “warm” sleeper and I do not like to snuggle either because I get too warm and I cannot sleep – Charlie allows the perfect amount of room in the bed so he can reach over and give me a kiss without curling up right next to me and causing me to have hot flashes.

With that said, there are a few things that I would hope Mr. X does not have in common with Charlie . . .

1. If bored, Charlie will shred a roll(s) of toilet paper so that is looks like piles of snow throughout the house. This is a big NO, NO.

2. Charlie will, when the mood strikes him, hump things – people, other animals or inanimate objects – this is a HUGE no, no! Crotch sniffing is also out!

3. Charlie does not like for me to shut the bathroom door . . . uh, we don’t need any visuals so I will just say – deal with the bathroom door being shut on occasion.

4. Charlie licks himself. . . won’t go there either . . .

So, that is how I have come to the decision Mr. X should have most of the same characteristics of Charlie . . . Most of all, I am pretty sure if I locked Mr. X and Charlie in the closet or the trunk of my car . . . Charlie would still be happy to see me after I let them out . . .