9 Tips for Dating - Shelly's Translation

Okay, so I just read an article on Yahoo! titled “9 Signs a Guy is a Keeper”. While I agree with most of them I think I shall interpret them further.

Tip #1 – He has his act together – Shelly translation – he can get his ass out of bed and make it to work on time or get the kids to school or yes, even make it to church on occasion since there seems to be no problem getting out of bed for golf, football or fishing.

Tip #2 – He puts you first – Shelly translation –when you park to go into a store and get out of the car, you don’t have to sprint to catch up with him before he walks through the door. Or your birthday/anniversary comes around and you get to go to dinner with him . . . rather than hoping to see him on the jumbo-tron at some sporting event.

Tip #3 – He’s not afraid of your germs. Shelly Translation – he will actually hand you a Kleenex instead of throwing the box from across the room in fear of your infectiousness.

Tip #4 – He’s a family man – Shelly translation – he knows family member’s by their names (other than mother, father and sibling) rather than referring to them as the "short fat one" or the "geek with no hair" or "pat".

Tip #5 – He makes time for your friends – Shelly translation – he would like to hang out with you and your friends regardless of boob size, child sitting availability in the future or season tickets he/she may own.

Tip #6 – He’s your Biggest Cheerleader – Shelly translation – he is not whiny when you want to go shopping or to dinner with friends rather than sitting at home watching him watch TV.

Tip #7- He remembers the little things – Shelly translation – He knows your birthday or that you worried about an upcoming meeting rather than who was named to the football hall of fame in 1987 or who won the British Open in 1995.

Tip # 8 – He’s Happy When Your Happy – Shelly Translation – he is genuinely happy to do things you like to do just to see you smile – not because he thinks he will get laid or sexual favors for “doing stupid things” like shopping or just taking a walk.

Tip #9 – He makes you the best you can be – Shelly translation – you feel good about yourself when you are around him – rather than plotting ways to secretly cause pain to his person or booby-trap his “precious little car”.

These are just my thoughts and feelings and I realize they are not for the masses – but then again, neither am I!