Pardon me but your breast is hanging out . . .

When I woke up this morning my first thought was “When did I start smoking again?” I smoked for almost 12 years and quit about 8.5 years ago. Anyway, I quickly realized that I had not started smoking again but had frequented a night club outside Austin City Limits. If you are inside the city limits there is no smoking in public places but Cool River aka “The Meat Market” is in Round Rock and therefore smoking is allowed inside in designated areas only. Now, in my opinion having a smoking section inside a building is kinda like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.

My experience at Cool River was one of horror, amazement and complete hilarity. I have not been out dancing with the girls in probably 12 years or so. Heck, I have been to a bar like that since college. My cohorts got there first and I have to tell ya – these girls LOVE to dance. I am more of a two-stepping kinda girl, but when the band broke out with some “Pour Some Sugar On Me” you know I hit the dance floor.

However, what truly amazes me is this – I am guessing 85% of the women in that bar ages 21 to 55 broke MY cardinal rule. Now, I can actually see why the 21 year olds may think it is okay to leave the house without a bra but I can under no circumstances see why someone over the age of 26 would dream of it – unless of course the wares are after market accessories and I did not see any of those. For goodness sake women – please invest in a strapless bra or at the bare minimum some pasties! I know you think that halter-top has the ability to lift and separate but cotton stretches, the knot comes loose and you end up just hanging out all over the place. I saw more nipples last night than I do when walking down the baby bottle isle at the grocery store. And they only comment I will make on the teeny tiny mini skirts is please – put on some panties or wax.

Secondly, the men who stand around the dance floor for their viewing pleasure really creep me out. I watched two guys who scoped the dance floor out for about 10 minutes and then they would jump out there and start dancing. It was not difficult to figure out their grand (mating) plan – they looked for the woman/women who appeared to be the most trashed and were in need of assistance of not falling on their ass. This gives the said vultures the grand opportunity to bump, grind and grope at will.

All in all it was grand fun and I cannot wait to go out with the girls again – but this time I will suggest someplace inside Austin city limits . . . I wonder if any have a No shirt, No bra, No service policy?