Dating Tips For me . . .

So I met a guy for a drink the other night – I do not call this a “date” because it only lasted about an hour and I was ready to leave 15 minutes into the entire thing. First, I am not sure I am cut out to date the true “Dallas” type person. I was country born and country raised and I am pretty darn sure I have a different outlook on things than most of these wannabe millionaires.


So I have decided to come up with a list of “DON’TS” for a first date with me ( and I am gonna go ahead say this would probably apply to most ladies in general).

1. You do not know me well enough 5 minutes in to the first meeting to even attempt to hold my hand. So don’t try. And if you somehow get my hand in yours and I rip it away like you have the plague – take the sign.

2. Please do not bash your ex wife on the fist date. I realize there were issues – that is why you are divorced. But calling her names, insulting her intelligence and/or criticizing her in any way only makes you look like the douche bag you are.

3. I do not want to hear about your sex life or lack there of on the first meeting. Hell, I am a born again virgin at 19 months and there is no way your finding that out until MUCH later on.

4. Do not attempt or ask me to change my “visitation schedule” with my children in the mere hope of spending more time with me. If I want to spend time with you – I will but attempting to change that facet of my life is a big HELL NO.

5. If you are going to insist on walking me to my car, be a gentleman. Do NOT attempt to maul me in the parking lot. If I wanted to kiss you, you will definitely know – and by the way genius, if I have already torn my hand out of your freaking bear claw grip go ahead and make the assumption you are not getting a kiss.

Okay – there you go. I think these are common sense issues – I just wish there were more common men out there.